What Did He Say?

I don't wear a hearing aid because I am cheap and vain and I have reached an age where most of what I hear I realize later that I didn't want to hear it anyway. And I think failing hearing is a blessing from God and I don't have any intention of mocking God by wearing a hearing aid.

Having said that, I think the Village Church needs to publish a transcript of all sermons in case Matt says something funny that I can't hear because he said it under his breath or mumbled it on purpose so that anyone over the age of 53 wouldn't hear it. The other option of course would be to lower the volume of the worship service. I know that this would deprive the Children of Liberia and most of the rest of West Africa and the closer planets from hearing the guitar and bass, but it would allow me to hear the sermon without the incessant ringing . . . or does Matt ring when he speaks? That certainly seems possible because I am not yet sure he is actually from this planet. That ringing I hear may simply be his way of communicating with his home universe.

On the subject of worship, I think that electric instruments are probably OK, but what if they are in fact satanic? I think we should experiment with this notion and for the next few weeks the worship bands should use only a Kazoo and an Accordion. I may be wrong about the satanic nature of the guitar and bass, but I am fairly certain that worship music with a Kazoo and an Accordion would have the positive effect of clearing the parking lot. And who knows, maybe we would all be in a much better frame of mind to hear the message after 30 minutes of Kazoo/Accordion music.